A Lash Out Day

April 23, 2009

There are some days that I get in a foul mood. That is not to say that I just sit and mope all day, it is more violent than that. For some reason when I am upset I like to lash out to other people and make sure that I am picking out their flaws and stupidity to make them feel as terrible as I do. I know it is a bad habit but I can’t seem to kick it. I do it at work and I do it at home and it always gets me into trouble. Why do I do this? I don’t know. I just sometimes wish I could pause myself and say that I am sorry to those people for the way I am acting but for some reason I am psychically unable to do that. It is like I am on the sidelines and that some part of me that isn’t me has taken the helm in my mind and caused this strange alter-ego to take over. I hate what I become yet can’t stop it. My only hope is that the next day I am better and able to be more my normal self with the people I care about and see on a daily basis. To those that I hurt, I am sorry and I am trying to get better.

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